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Entry #49

Writing Prompt: Dialogue - April 10th 2011

2011-04-10 14:53:44 by sinfulwolf
Updated

Writing Prompt
Story Archive

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Theme -- Dialogue
Prompt -- Write a conversation between two characters from distinct backgrounds, be it social class (rich/poor), life station (young/old), or vocation (blacksmith/fisherman), and reflect this in their speech.
Challenges --
o Iambic Pentameter: write only dialogue, and in Iambic Pentameter.
o Prejudice: have their different backgrounds create misconceptions which affect how they treat each other.
o Body Language: in the narrative, use body language to add nuance to the dialogue.
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The loud smack of wood striking flesh was soon followed by a wail of pain from the young Prince Richard. Sergeant-at-arms Michael Thorn had to force himself to hold back a sigh as he watched the young teen toss his training sword and shield to the ground in a fit.

"How dare you strike me. I am your prince and will be your king one day," Richard shouted, stomping his feet on the ground, little fists balling up at his sides.

If only the young prince could listen, if only he could focus all this bubbling rage inside of him; then Michael would have something to work with. As it was he knew the way the royal brat treated his lessons he would lose in tournaments and die on the battlefield.

"My Prince, the pain is temporary, and you must learn to defend yourself. Pick up your weapon," Michael said, keeping his face passive.

Richard looked up at him, a red flush creeping up from under the collar of the leather armour he wore. With his whole body shaking, he jabbed a finger towards the aging sergeant-at-arms.

"You are my servant and nothing more. I will have you hanged for your belligerence," he shouted stumbling through his words as spit flew from his lips.

As the Prince began to walk away Michael looked up to the balcony overlooking the training yard and was surprised to see the king. The balding man held his heavy robes tight around his form and gave a curt nod before turning and stepping back into the castle.

Despite himself, Michael let a smile cross his features as he stepped forward and swung his sword across the back of the boy prince's legs. Another wail filled the air as Richard fell to the ground.
"You dare?" he angrily shouted from the ground.

"You have turned your back to the enemy, showing yourself a coward and earning a quick death. Now defend yourself," Michael said, but without giving the prince any time to grab the sword and shield he had dropped before slashing down and hitting the boy in the gut.

Another scream accompanied with streaming tears echoed in the yard, but Michael did not let up kicking the prince in the side.

"Tears and wailing will not save you on the battlefield. You are a prince but that does not mean servants and peasants cannot strike you down," Michael said, his blows shifting the sobbing prince across the dusty ground.

Richard could not find the words to shout and curse as he curled up into a ball and tried to protect himself from the harsh kicks, only to receive hard slaps from Michael's sword bruising his flesh even through the armour.

"Stand up. You are a prince, these wailings are beneath you," Michael shouted knowing the brat was long past due for this lesson. A heat burned in his ears and his knuckles went white with the grip on the blade as his boots collided with soft flesh again and again.

Finally Michael stopped and stood back. A bead of sweat ran down his face and he held his sword and shield at his sides.

"You will pay for this. I am your lord, I will have you dead by the morning," Richard wailed between his sobs.
Michael just looked down at the blubbering boy, frowning as he noticed the wetness spreading across the dirt from his crotch. Perhaps now he would have something to work with.

"Your lesson is done for today. I expect to see you tomorrow morning my lord," Michael said, and turning walked away, leaving the prince in the dirt.


Comments

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Deathcon7Deathcon7

2011-04-10 16:39:43

I wish you would have given the prince a bit more dignity-- poor future monarch-- but you did well. There's a couple issues with clarify, where it seemed you were thinking quicker than you were typing, in those situations you just want to ensure you're mindful of what you're saying. This also reads as if you were too comfortable with the content. The fantasy genre certainly has its fill of impudent princes. In the future, for the sake of exercising, trying reversing rolls, doing something you're not quite, if at all, comfortable with.

sinfulwolf responds:

While this isn't really a fantasy piece, your advice still applies. As these prompts are experiments, you are right, I should do things I'm not so comfortable with. I still have to keep an eye on situations where my fingers or mind runs faster than the other.

Thanks for the feed back.


FallschirmfuchsFallschirmfuchs

2011-06-12 03:16:50

Why does it seem like everyone I used to chat with is gone...

Anyway, you're still writing, right?

sinfulwolf responds:

Not really... there's been no real motivation. I didn't even know you were still around.


DarkX64DarkX64

2011-07-12 16:48:30

I was at a computer, had been thinking about Newgrounds, and dropped by...

...and was aghast to see I had left NOTHING for this yet. >_< THAT CHANGES NOW

Your dialogues never cease to intrigue and feign reality. And this is no different. My favorite point is when the conflict truly erupts and the formerly calm Sergeant unloads on the prince. I really loved reading that part, you really captured the intensity in that moment really well. The build up was good too, and then ending was well done, but it felt mildly abrupt. In this scenario, it could work either ways, but it did feel sudden. Maybe that's just my personal preference, but it's something to consider.

Man, I miss reading your work and talking to you. You're awesome and I could use more of that. Send me a PM sometime?
-DarkX

sinfulwolf responds:

Ha. Glad you enjoyed it. It was just a quick one shot in an attempt to get back into writing.


Tetimaru000Tetimaru000

2011-07-18 13:43:54

Are you still...active?


FallschirmfuchsFallschirmfuchs

2011-08-13 20:50:04

Ah... well I'm still around, just less interactive as I used to be

sinfulwolf responds:

Ah. Well I'm hardly around these days.


Tetimaru000Tetimaru000

2011-11-02 22:31:37

Sucks that everyone's slowly drifting away...


DarkX64DarkX64

2011-11-21 23:08:47

OY LASS!

Hark! For I have delivered unto thee a message! Make haste and respond, I beseech ye!


DarkX64DarkX64

2011-12-25 10:26:44

Merry Christmas!


Josef-EliassonJosef-Eliasson

2015-04-25 06:24:08

JJ JJ

sinfulwolf responds:

What?