good story
I enjoy writing, and I enjoy sharing what I have with folks. I suppose that makes me an entertainer of sorts. I hope you can find something of mine that you enjoy and helps pass the time. Leave a comment, or not, the choice is yours.
Jackie
@sinfulwolf
Age 35, Female
Warrior
In a dark forest
Joined on 12/27/06
- Level:
- 14
- Exp Points:
- 2,060 / 2,180
- Exp Rank:
- 29,376
- Vote Power:
- 5.62 votes
- Rank:
- Town Watch
- Global Rank:
- 58,106
- Blams:
- 40
- Saves:
- 94
- B/P Bonus:
- 2%
- Whistle:
- Normal
- Medals:
- 660
Comments
Glad you are enjoying in so far.
just a question, do all of the people met up at some point and kick major zombie ass?
We shall see won't we?
Once again, super fucking awesome.
Glad you are enjoying.
Wow, really exciting, my internets too slow so maybe sometime you could paste all the chpters to a text file and send them via email? my email is Kazukaro@hotmail.com Thnx love your story so far.
Yeah, I can do that for ya sometime.
First of all,I must say that I am quite impressed with this episode.I can see this story going a long way.Right now it's just setting the stage,but I can't wait until the action starts!It sure does make me excited to see your work.
Now,the complaints (i hate this part,but it is necessary).I must say,switching between al these characters is a tad confusing.It taxes my mind to remember these people.At least it's worth it.
Found a typo,but I'm glad it's less than last time.
Also,I found some verbs that didn't completely fit the text.
Also,I have a question.Do you think these characters will ever meet up?It would be interesting,but it wouldn't kill me if you kept it in individual stories.
But,even with it's few faults,I find tremendous potential in this.With vivid words and fascinating characters,I commend your progress.I hope you continue these episodes!
I will continue, and I do like the criticism. It is what help makes me better as a writer no?
Now as for the typos, I do try to get them all, and use spell check. Are you sure you're not seeing the differences between Canadian and American spelling?
However, I do believe these characters will meet up yes. Now I'm just worried about delivering a good enough ending.
amazing simply amazing please continue its so good it could be a book
Why thank you, but I'll keep putting it here so its free.
If your looking for an ending either have a nuclear explosion, have all the good guys die, or have it turn out to be a dream. yeah that would be sweet. But you should have written the final chapter first and then stow it away, i mean i did with Red Dawn, which i have now continued and am currenly on chapter 4.
just out of curiosity will there be any love interest between Joey and Haley, or Lila for that matter?
I do endings last, for while I may have a story plotted out in my mind, things can change when I go to write them. I mean, chapter 2 turned out completely different than I had intended. Because of this I do the ending last so it doesn't seem as tacked on when everything before it changes.
No comment on love interest though.
Wow, that was actually really good. I got bored again and read what you said so I decided to read it and I think that is the best story I have read in a while. Keep up the good work. Have you ever considered writing a book? I think you should.Also, did you draw that yourself? Its really good.Seriously, all you really need is to make the story longer and you could get it published.I would buy it. Anyways great story.
Well thank you very very much. I'm glad you enjoyed the story. As for writing a book, no I don't think I will. I'll just keep to writing free stuff on the internet.
The picture though I did not draw. I'm a horrible artist so I won't try to take credit for it. The picture is actually from the video game Wet, of the main character.
I'll let you know what chapter 4 comes out.
that means yes, now which one, which one, hahahaha
I meant no comment in that I'm not entirely sure of that myself either. Haley definitely not.
If there is going to be a romantic subplot I'm going to let it develop, instead of simply tacking it on where it'll be awkward and weird to read.
Hmmm,I guess the I was wrong on the typo.I thought when it got to the "fuck ya!" part,that "fuck" was to be capitalized,but I guess not.Anyways,I do know the difference between American and Canadian writing.Aren't words that end with "or" in American writing end with "our" in Canadian?Like "ardour",or harbour"?I think that's right.But it's not that important,anyways :)
oh... yeah the "fuck" should have been capitalized. Thanks for pointing that out.
As for the U.S./ Canuck writing that's pretty much correct.
Well i for one think there should espicialy with Haley, might mke things interresting.
But really therer should be one, it's a good plot device, i would know, i'm gonna have a huge love thing in my story, eventulaly.
It can be a good plot device, but like I said, I don't want it simply tacked on. It's got to develop naturally, otherwise it'll just be crappy. As none of these people are in relationships to start with, and they are all in a survivalist situation, it may not be top of their minds to get into a relationship.
Sweet!!! Great work! Oh, btw,to the Nazi zombie refrance, there are some small groups of them that gather in barns in the south (based on what I saw in a family guy episode, the one where Lois kills Stewie). Mabey that's how the Nazi zombie killing can come into play? Anyway, awsome job!
I doubt I'll have nazi zombies, like I said. Doesn't quite fit. This island isn't in the south.
I'm not a huge fan of fantasy stories, but I must say, you are one hell of a story writer.
Thank you very much. And I suppose this somewhat qualifies as a fantasy.
I'm bored, make a 4th one
Should come soon.
oiM scoming off thus picature!!K#J
That... makes no sense. Thank you?
Shut the hell up SassyCatMan!
Hey now. No need for that. I can take care of myself.
sorry he just been doing that to everyone, kinda pissed me off
Meh. Sometimes you just gotta let things go.
Hey - I don't think I've ever directly said thanks for all of those nice reviews -- so thanks!!! :)
I really do appreciate it. :3
Not a problem. I do really enjoy your work and would love to see more in the future!
It's good, definitely better than some of the retards in my creative writing course. You have a good flow when it comes to action and that's a rare talent for many writers.
Some of the diction you use is rather bland though, such as in the first section you say, " He looked at the dial to make sure that it was still set to the local station," looked is rather simple. It'd suggest something that could better place the characters mood rhetorically like, "He frantically scanned the dial to be sure..." or "He glanced at the dial exhausted, making sure..."
Also while the action flows well, some parts are so fast it becomes awkward and I become unfamiliar with the characters. Such as with Haley, when "She ran her fingertips over her sword, admiring the oriental design before sheathing it." You could go further if you bring up the oriental design, like say it reminded her of martial arts films she would watch and how she admired the stars like Bruce Lee or Uma Thurman. This would open us up more to your character and bring a unique sense, because how often do you find a vampire that admires Bruce Lee or astrives to be a kung fu star.
I'm glad you enjoyed, and thank you for the tips, I can always get better.
However in my defense, somethings I purposely make bland, because well... some times a bland action is just that.
However I agree that I could have done much more with Haley there, and I will keep that in mind for the next chapters. I have to bring her to the forefront more and make her a character. Not necessarily a liked character, but one that is interesting.
Thank you very much for your input.
zerogeass
awesome as ever, make me want to post all my new chapters.....good pic by the way, seems like you might be involving several of the worlds major countries...if at all possible make a Nazi Zombie referrence XD.
But serioulsly awesome.
sinfulwolf
We'll see about the Nazi Zombie reference. I doubt it, as it doesn't really fit... but we'll see. Glad you enjoyed.