Awesome...
I enjoy writing, and I enjoy sharing what I have with folks. I suppose that makes me an entertainer of sorts. I hope you can find something of mine that you enjoy and helps pass the time. Leave a comment, or not, the choice is yours.
Jackie
@sinfulwolf
Age 35, Female
Warrior
In a dark forest
Joined on 12/27/06
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Comments
Glad you enjoyed it.
Not sure if I should've read the first part or not...
Also, seriously, how do you manage to find these pictures o.o
I'm just not sure Dx
What were you searching for when you found that?
Just -vampire- ?
And yeah, I saw the warning, that's why I wasn't sure if I should've read it or not :p
Oh GAWD. That sex scene was just TOTALLY FREAKIN' HAWT, YOU KNOW? AND THAT PICTURE WAS JUST HARDCORE SEXY, YEAH! I so totally...
OK, no. None of that. Time for me to seriously review this.
Although, that opening scene really was steamy. Because it just isn't enough that you can depict dark and foreboding scenes, make really hardcore tense fight scenes, AND have expert dialogue. No, writing successful erotica just HAD to be in your inventory too. As of yet, I don't think there's anything you can't do. About the only thing left to achieve is make a legitimate child's story that couldn't be misconstrued as inappropriate. But, like I said, nice scene. Reading about how Arya's tongue ran along Gwen's womanhood was a wake up call to my manhood. >:)
And then Elishka just comes in and kills the mood. THAT was funny. :D
And, just like that, the council meeting connected so many things. It's here that I should announce that I, quite literally, associate the ability to include allusions in a story with skill. So, reading about LANCELOT Du Lac (wink) and his part in GWENHYFAR'S life (wink, wink) was a joy for me. I so ABSOLUTELY love allusions. And I'm so very happy to see them here. It now arises as a question: how did you learn to write so well? I hope Guardian at least somewhat comes close to sounding this good...
That last scene was excellent at setting the mood. And your dialogue (*cough* last line*cough*) NEVER ceases to amaze and impress me. You once said before that you didn't think you were made of the stuff to be a successful author. That the way you do things wouldn't appeal to publishers, let alone the public. I call bullshit on that. If you actually went pro with this, the New York Times would run out of praise to give your works. This is literature worth waiting for, worth buying. I'm fully aware that you're in the military now. When you retire, you should consider writing. I know you'd get far.
Dammit I wanna be one of those girls in that picture! If that means a gender change is in order, so be it! YEAH I SAID IT!!! BITE ME!!!!
And I mean that in more ways than one!
-DarkX
PS: My first Guardian post is near completion! Just got a few last things to write up, and I'll post! Expect that sometime tonight, if not tomorrow...
I find that with this story, I really have to capture so many different aspects. It's a vampire story and I wanted to tap into the seductive and sexual nature of their mythos that we as a society have given them. I also wanted to display their darkness, but not just of the vampires but of the time period itself. The middle ages were brutal and dark and ripe for stories chock full of dark imagery and violence. So that's what I've tried to capture here, sexuality and violence. They almost go hand in hand in this little world of mine.
I had debated whether to play out the sex scene fully, or have it interrupted. I finally decided on the later so that the sex didn't seem just "Tacked on". As to your comments on my sexual writing, thank ye. Smut is the root of my writing abilities really. I did odds and ends until I was about 16, then I started writing smut and nothing else for a few years. Blood of the Damned was really my first foray into something that wasn't sexual. With War however, I wanted to touch back with what I started with. Not so much that it stole from the main story, but enough to add to it. To me, the sex really grounds Gwenhwyfar as a character, making her seem somewhat human still despite not quite being alive.
The council meeting I felt could have been a bit stronger, but I wasn't sure how to go through with it without making it drag out and bore the reader. So I made it fairly simple, and did my best to start and explain things. It's been 7 chapters since Gwenhwyfar was summoned to Narvik and I still hadn't really explained why. Making the connection between Du Lac and Gwenhwyfar as well was a big step. Not many people are so intimate with Arthurian legend that they know the original Welsh spelling of Guinevere, nor that Lancelot's last name was Du Lac. So putting that right out there was good for those that didn't know those back stories. Sure I hadn't really made it secret, but it's good to confirm everything.
The last portion was supposed to be much longer, but I felt short and to the point worked better. Cram in some violent imagery and a moment of brotherhood between two former enemies, and I had exactly the scene I wanted to tell. Length doesn't always mean quality, so the shorter cap of the chapter is much more efficient at telling my story. I also do like ending chapters with a good line apparently.
As to being a professional author. Sure I probably could make it, but people these days are getting tired of vampire stories, and the people that aren't getting tired of them, are not looking for what I offer. It's a slim chance to make it, but at the end of the day the main reason I don't want to go professional is because this is a hobby of mine. I really enjoy writing and entertaining, and don't want to make it work, because that will sap the enjoyment out of it for me, and in the end start to sap away the quality. So be happy that you'll always get my stuff for free online.
I really liked the picture too, and have been waiting to use some of my more sexual pictures. Blood of the Damned was half zombie pictures, and the vampire ones while good looking, tended to be a little more vicious. In this one, I play with many more vampire characters, and so the pictures tend to be a little more sensual and mysterious. The sexuality of this chapter just matched the picture perfectly.
Can't wait to read yer own story, but I hope you won't be upset if I give an honest review that may or may not sound mean. In my mind pointing out flaws in a constructive manner can really help an author improve.
Did I ever mention I'm way too curious? Dx
First off, I totally have to agree with you. Making it clear that Gwen has a penchant for passionate lust is a trait that is clearly human, despite her not really being human. It gives depth to her character, that's for certain. Again, you earn points for that clever little technique.
*facepalms* Gwenhyfar, Guinevere, ugh... I should have seen that coming! And to be honest, I have watched/ read quite a bit on Arthurian lore. And, in all honesty, his last name was never once mentioned. He always had been referred to as Sir Lancelot. And that was that. Makes it hard for me to have a clear picture of what he should look like now...
And, personally, I think the council meeting had a lot of strength as was. The simple truths, it's short bluntness and revelation of the facts gave quite the punch, with all these big things hitting home with me. I can't speak for the other readers, but I feel that was well written.
Well, I think you would be great... but I understand your reasons for not wanting to be an author and I respect that. I apologize in advance if I should happen to forget and mention it again.
And my First post is nearly ready! It's going to be an introductory post though, because I have a plan. If I want to get people's attention to it on the forums, where do you think I should post?
Thanks! I enjoy your literature and I hope you can enjoy mine!
-DarkX
PS: Before I forget, I would like to make something clear. I don't know if I've told you before, but I'll tell you now: I prefer truth over personal feelings. If you have ANY criticisms, DO NOT sugar coat and don't bullshit me either. Say it like it is. If it stinks (heaven forbid my performance in English all these years garner a result like that...), TELL THE TRUTH. I know you wouldn't lie to me, but don't try to nice up anything you say in regards to my work. Ok?
I definitely thought it did. As well as being perfect for playing into that sensual seductive side of vampires.
Well to be truthful, Gwenhwyfar isn't a spelling commonly used. Lots of people don't know what that name would be as it sounds so separate from the romantic Arthurian tales. Indeed where you will find that name, she's more warrior like, Pagan, involved in witchcraft. Definitely not the romantic Christian tales that are much more prevalent.
Well glad you thought it had strength. Simple and blunt can sometimes be much much more effective than complex and subtle.
Good to hear your post is nearing completion. I've been waiting awhile now. Not as long as for Red Dawn, but awhile.
And don't worry, I won't sugar coat it. Just letting you know its coming.
All in all, I liked it.
Why did you decide to start writing a story about vampires?
Hehe, sounds intriguing that you just decided with it on the spot.
I just discovered I have 1337 blams >.> I'm bored
I've never really taken to horror/romance books, though I do like reading about vampires. Have you read Cirque Du Freak?
I have more saves :3
I appreciate fantasy. It lets your imagination run wild.
Any tips on how to think of new ideas/be creative/be more imaginative?
Do you read a lot? I find it's what improves your writing skills. I hardly ever watch movies, but I'll keep that in mind. Games can be a great inspiration, but...I dunno.
Dreams are a great one, although for me it usually turns out to be nightmares. ):
I'm pretty sure drowning on the titanic is NOT a good dream.
A story about a sinking ship is not my idea of something fun to write.
I don't usually encounter positive dreams very often.
Everyone does.
meh.
Just really short for "I guess so" in a reluctant way, I guess.
zerogeass
Sex=awesome
Even without all that, this chapter is still really damn awesome.
Du Lac is growing ever and ever more of a great villian.
Alan and Salaam are sounding pretty awesome too, gonna remember that last line
sinfulwolf
Heh, thought people would enjoy the sex.
Still, glad you enjoyed it overall. Yes Du Lac is becoming ever more vile as the story goes on, as I always intended. And I am greatly enjoying writing Alan and Salaam as well. The story taking place during the crusades and in the Middle East I thought it only fair to include an Islamic character.