You choose where to end your chapters well :)
Also, definitely for adults? Is there like sexual scenes or explicit language everywhere?
I enjoy writing, and I enjoy sharing what I have with folks. I suppose that makes me an entertainer of sorts. I hope you can find something of mine that you enjoy and helps pass the time. Leave a comment, or not, the choice is yours.
Jackie
@sinfulwolf
Age 36, Female
Warrior
In a dark forest
Joined on 12/27/06
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Comments
YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hey, guess how I'm feeling now? :P
New entry! I had to refrain myself from yelling. What I put up above was the reaction I stopped myself from doing once I saw a message from you. No jokes either. :)
Anyway, review time!
All of my senses are at unease as great bloody confrontations draw nearer. And I love it. Though I kind of have to question the Elder's choice to send just Elishka and Gwen to deal with Lancelot, because it had been speculated that Lancelot wasn't the only one doing the rampaging. And unless I'm mistaken, he's a force to be reckoned with if blades are crossed with him. So, either I'm underestimating the girls or there was something I missed when the Elder said "The greatest armies of the world are already in that desert, waiting to thrust cold steel into flesh. You must bring the reckoning of the Wolf, while the others wage war." What exactly did he mean by that?
Good lord, your description of the undead soldier was unnerving. Brr, that just shook me...
I don't know if you have different plans for Andrezj, but to me, he just sounds like cannon fodder. Maybe there's a good reason for him to be, but I kind of hope he has good back story. Because just some random guy who can kill Vampires would rather tick me off. Granted, I don't think you would be one to do that, but you have worried me a tad...
All in all, a decent chapter. Because we now have so many characters to follow, it's gonna get hairy, especially for anyone new to this. I trust you'll deliver when it comes the time. But, as your stuff goes, this was a little slower.
Oh well, you aren't God, so I don't expect perfection. But there are those days when you have made me wonder... XD
I kid, I kid. :P
Looking forward to chapter 10,
-DarkX.
Glad you get excited whenever a new chapter arises. I promise the next won't be nearly as long away as this one was.
As for the Elder, I think you may be indeed underestimating the girls. Gwenhwyfar is a highly accomplished warrior, and Elishka is no slouch either. Yes Lancelot is quite the fighter, but he's not unstoppable. However, and perhaps I didn't explain this clearly enough which is my fault, most of the Wolf Clan (which is smaller than the Rose Clan to begin with) is heading elsewhere to fight. Also, the elder's words on the greatest armies of the world is in reference to the Third Crusade happening.
I did try to do something grotesque and disturbing with that undead soldier. I'm happy it worked.
I wouldn't give him much a name if he was just cannon fodder. He is another glimpse into the human side of all this, and another faction coming into play. He does have a backstory that I'm still tweaking a bit to seem less cliche, but he does have one. Note that pretty much anyone in this story that's human and hunts vampires have had some experiences with them in the past. I also want to use Andrzej as a glimpse into Medieval life through the eyes of someone who isn't a noble or an undead creature.
Glad you liked the chapter, and yes it is slower, however compared to Blood of the Damned, this entire story is much slower. I feel that I've been able to fit better characters and more plot into this slower pace and just have the reader pull more from the entire read. However as we begin to reach the climax things could get much more brutal than Blood had even dreamed of.
Hope to have chapter 10 out soon.
Hmm, sorry for underestimating you girls. Looking back, the Elder's statement makes a little more sense. And it's also partially my error for kind of not taking into account the weird speech patterns of literary elderly characters, shoulda looked at it a little more the first time.
The note that the encampment scene left us on has me worried as to what the turn out will be come next chapter...
Oh man, didn't even realize that you didn't have a perspective from the so to speak peasantry of that age. Gad, I feel dumb. But then again, that's why you're writing this, eh? ;) I now feel a little more confident in your choice to add Andrezj, and apologize for questioning it.
Also looking back, something looks awkward. "From what Andrzej could only guess, but he assumed she did a little work in the rooms for rent above." Maybe I'm misreading something...?
Anyhow, thanks for answering my questions and removing my doubts. :)
Sincerely,
DarkX.
PS: I have to go now, but sometime soon, I'm gonna send a PM. I need some help with Guardian again. And you would be the prime person to go to for the answers I need. I'll try to send tonight or tomorrow.
It's not a problem, people tend to underestimate folks once in awhile. And yeah, I purposely made the Elder's speech patterns a little old fashioned and strange.
Always good to keep my reader base a little on edge. Makes them want to read more.
Glad you see why I added him. It was also partially to add in a character from yet another nation. I have Welsh, English, Norse, German, Italian, Egyptian... and now in this chapter an Afghan and a Pole.
Hmm... you're right that sentence does look somewhat awkward. I was trying to imply that she's also a prostitute, but I should try and rework that sentence a bit. Thanks for pointing that out.
Yer welcome.
And I'll be waiting for it. Hope I can help.
Oh I understood the implication just fine. It's the but that's unnecessary. If that's out, it will look fine.
Anyhow, I'm just sending from college, waiting for my bus. I'll send the private message either later tonight or tomorrow. But I doubt about tonight, I'm going to see some friends, so just a heads up.
In the meantime, here's the link!
<a href="http://evermint.webs.com/">http://evermint.webs.com/</a>
Can't wait to chat with you! :D
Sincerely,
DarkX.
Ah, I see it now. I changed it up, see how that looks. Mind was working at a different speed than my fingers and eyes and there was a jumbled mess. Oh well, hopefully this looks better.
Heh, waiting for the bus... not so fun times. I'll be waiting for the PM though, and I'll help you however I can.
Thanks for the link, should be interesting.
wow i suck for not reading the other chapters i suck :(
Well you don't suck. There's a hefty amount there and it's growing. However you are missing out on a lot of content that will let things fall into place and make more sense if you read the other chapters.
i read the other chapters and i gotta ask,are you actually a soldier or a marine?
I was a soldier yes. I recently got out of the military. Why do ye ask?
i actually found out when i was reading comments in your news post.
Ah. Yes one can learn a bit from them.
It sounds kinda interesting...
Wasn't it fantasy?
I like reading fantasy, though.
zerogeass
this week just keeps getting better and better.
I'm liking the story even more now, i got a feeling this is gonna get bloody, just how i like it
sinfulwolf
Glad to hear your week is going well.
And yes, this should get quite blood. There will be a reckoning.